


Wings

by blissey



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Smut, Stream of Consciousness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-25
Updated: 2016-02-25
Packaged: 2018-05-23 02:54:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6102460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blissey/pseuds/blissey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She asked him sheepishly one night, her light voice cracking a bit; "are you real?"<br/>The patterns he was drawing on her back stopped. "Yes," his voice rumbled through her, "are you?"<br/>"Yes," Rey said, although she wasn't completely sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wings

**Author's Note:**

> this is written in stream of consciousness so if that ain't ur cup or soup i'd recommend skipping this. marlo and dondo are my original characters. they are not canon.

It began with dreams. The ghost of large hands dancing over Rey's skin, soothing lips weaving tales of oceans and forests with so much green that it seemed wasteful. She enjoyed sleep, for she would lay with her friend and tell tales of some far off planet from a system that one could only dream of. His face disappeared when Rey tried to recall the dreams, but his voice, his laugh, his hands weaving through Rey's hair; he could make elegant braids that Rey had never even considered.

  


When the other scavengers pushed Rey from her loot with clawed hands and evil smiles, her friend taught her how to fight back, how to assert a level of respect from those bigger than her. Hence, when she found a staff under the wreckage of an X-Wing long forgotten, she began to carry it with her on her outings and not fear the power she cradled in her soul.

  


Her friend made it easier, just slightly. With every mark Rey made on her wall some of her hope left and some new hope ignited. Rey hoped to meet her friend (for despite what the other scavengers said, he was real), and when each mark on the wall looked like a lifetime of solitude, Rey imagined it as a countdown to meeting her friend.

  


She asked him sheepishly one night, her light voice cracking a bit; "are you real?"

  


The patterns he was drawing on her back stopped. "Yes," his voice rumbled through her, "are you?"

  


"Yes," Rey said, although she wasn't completely sure.

  


The patterns resumed, and Rey relaxed into him; his soft breathing, his precise fingers, the way she felt asleep on his chest -

  


Rey awoke with a jolt. There was a weak sandstorm outside, and her home had leaked slightly. She cursed softly, and rose to patch the breach.

  


When she fell back into slumber, he was not there. Rey curled into his coarse bedsheets, drinking in his scent as she lay alone.

  


Rey sometimes dreamt of the far off worlds he told her of. Her favourite was the planet with much more water than land, with islands made of lichen covered bricks and long forgotten pathways. Often, a man with a long cloak would halfway turn to her before Rey woke.

  


"One day," Rey began softly, her voice ghosting over her friend's bare chest, "do you think we could meet?"

  


He stiffened, his hands stilling in Rey's hair. "I hope not."

  


She looked up at him, his face still and something Rey couldn't recall. "Why not?"

  


"I don't think you'd like me very much," her friend said, pointedly looking up. He shook her off of him, wrapping his arms around her waist before drawing her back to him.

  


"Nonsense," Rey laughed. "I like you already."

  


She could taste that he had something else to say, but he bit his tongue, merely nuzzling the crook of her neck.

  


It was awhile until they spoke again. Rey could sense something different. His edges were sharper, his touch harsher. "Are you alright?" She asked, brushing a finger over his cheekbone.

  


"No," he said.

  


Rey's friend began to cry, and she held him tight, patting his head and murmuring nice things.

  


"I have done something awful," he later told her, his head in her lap as she braided his hair.

  


"What?" Rey asked, her fingers dancing across his scalp.

  


He swallowed, "I fear you will no longer enjoy my company if I tell you."

  


"I promise I will," Rey whispered.

  


"I betrayed my teacher," he began, his voice thick. "I was training with him to become a warrior, and I betrayed not only him but also my classmates."  
Sensing that he did not wish to disclose further, Rey hummed. She really liked him. 

  


They had been friends for years, and imagining a world without him had become as foreign as imagining one with a family.

  


Rey didn’t have any other friends. There were little waves and winks sometimes given to her by other adolescent scavengers, and some of the elderly gave her tips on how to properly scrub without the metal oxidizing.

  


The closest she had to friends was brief physical affairs; Rey was kissed by a nice Twi'Lek at the junkyard, her fanged teeth drawing blood from Rey's lips. The Twi'lek's hands felt below her waist and in her naivety Rey made no move to stop her. The Twi'lek got on a ship and left Jakku. Everyone leaves Jakku. Rey missed her.

  


Rey told her friend of this precedent, and he became mad. He threw his timepiece at the wall and it shattered. Rey watched the glass hit the floor.

  


"It's petty," he reassured her once he calmed down, "nothing to worry about, really."

  


"They why are you angry?" She asked, her feet dangling over the edge of his bed.

  


"I just," he gave an empty laugh, "I wanted to do that first."

  


"Do what?" Rey asked.

  


"Kiss you," he turned red, the blush leading down below his collar, "and other things."

  


Rey laid down. "You have had ample opportunity," she told him.

  


"No," her friend shook his head, "not here, not like this. In reality."

  


"I thought you did not want to meet?"

  


He shrugged, laying beside her. She touched his chest. "I want to meet you," he told her, "I want to lay with you in reality. I want to braid your hair. But I don't want you to be appalled when you see me."

  


"I won't be," she promised. He kissed her cheek.

  


When Rey awoke, the spot where he had kissed her was burning pleasantly.

  


Life on Jakku was getting harder by the day. What used to get her whole portions was barely getting Rey half portions. The marks had almost filled up the whole wall. She didn't know what she would do when it filled up.

  


Her friend become sadder and harsher, less talkative and more rushed. When his shaking hands could barely braid a strand of Rey's hair, he would yell and stomp away. Rey was scared, but she could always calm him down.

  


"What is your name?" Rey asked one cold night, his hands splayed across her back and his head on her shoulder.

  


He did not answer. Rey hummed, her legs wrapped around his waist. The fire (he had a fire!) was crackling and Rey watched it dance.

  


"Ben," he said finally. Rey wished she knew what he looked like. It was odd; when she woke she could never recall his face, but she knew the satin of his voice and the silk of his skin.

  


"I like it," Rey said, "it suits you."

  


He laughed, his breath hollow, "I don't."

  


There had been more and more nights where Rey lay alone in his bed, the woolen sheets scratching at her skin and his many pillows surrounding her in a halo of comfort. The bed smelled like him, musky and cold. Rey sometimes wondered why their limbo was always his bed, but she did not mind. He might be too tall to even fit in her home.

  


Jakku did not have seasons. He explained them to her when Rey asked why some nights were colder than others. He told her that the planet he was on had perpetual snowfall (which was foreign to Rey as well), but three months out of the year had colder, harsher winds.

  


"Are you getting enough sleep?" Rey asked him, her fingers tracing the scars that had drawn themselves onto his back.

  


"No," Ben replied, his face heavy. "My new teacher is working me to the bone."

  


"I am proud of you," Rey told him, her hair dancing in the artificial breeze.

  


"For what?"

  


"For moving from your mistakes and starting anew. I'm sure that whatever you are learning is fantastic," Rey kissed the back of his neck and Ben began to cry.

  


She held him, and she dried his tears with his sheets. "It will be okay, my friend."

  


Rey's portions go from one half to one quarter. There is grit permanently under her fingernails and she changes from bathing once a week to twice a month. She wonders if she can even afford to bathe at all.

  


Less words are exchanged between Rey and her friend. Her jaw is sharpened with hunger and his eyes are deep with guilt. They merely lay together, occasionally sharing pecks on the cheek or neck and intimate caresses. They both have aged, and were not the same people they were when this limbo started.

  


Rey leaves Jakku on a junk ship with a member of the Resistance and a droid. She does not sleep that night, but she wants to tell her friend of her adventure. She hopes they will meet before she returns to Jakku.

  


The next time she sleeps, Rey's friend is very stressed. She sits on his hips and rubs calming gel onto his chest while he lays and extrapolates his anger.

  


He is worried about a droid that his teacher lost, and how it keeps slipping from him. "Some rogue and a female accomplice have it," Ben told her, his chest rumbling with each word. "I'm worried that I won't find it and my teacher will be angry."

  


Rey sighed happily, letting her friend sit up. She opened her tunic and lay down, handing Ben the gel. He kneads it into her back as she describes her adventure.

  


"I met Han Solo," she told him, "he says that the ship we stole was his."

  


Ben's hands stop, then begin to knead harder.

  


"It's like a dream," Rey said, "Han offered me a job on his ship. Do you think I should take it?"

  


"No," Ben said, "aren't you waiting for your family?"

  


Rey looked away, "yes."

  


Rey was not ready to become a Jedi. She could barely hold the blaster properly. She ran from Maz, into the forest and away from the lightsaber.

  


The first time she hit a Stormtrooper, Rey fumbled. She did not like killing.

  


The forest was so green. Everything here was so full of light and life. Even the water glistened in the suns and the trees hummed with content. Rey watched a tall figure in an iron mask devour the forest, his crude lightsaber burn the life away.

  


Rey shot at Kylo Ren. When he saw her, he hesitated, half lowering his weapon before blocking Rey's shots. There was something familiar about him.

  


Rey did not see her friend in her forced slumber. She sat in his bed and waited for him to come, but he didn't.

  


Rey awoke to the cold metal of Kylo Ren. He stared at her, edging deep within her soul. She spat venom at him, daring him to remove the mask.

  


His face suddenly clicked, falling into place with all of her dreams. Suddenly, the figure in limbo was no longer anonymous. She spat at him again.

  


"Rey," he wanted to say, but she did not let him. She ran once more.

  


Ben echoed in her head. He was flowing through her veins. She could draw his face perfectly, and it was inserted into every memory of limbo she had.

  


He called to her, the Force resonating in her head. She wanted to scream.

  


Rey screamed fire and molten anger. She watched the man she trusted and loved stab his father through the heart; a father that she hoped could become her own surrogate parent.

  


She believed him. She hated him and she hated herself for believing in him.

  


Rey held her soul close. She heard his whisperings out to her, his presence seeping through her veins.

  


Ben hit Finn down, and Rey realized that he was not Ben, he was Kylo Ren.

  


The planet split beneath them, tearing the two apart once more. Snow landed in Rey's eyelashes. She wanted to take him with her, but she couldn't find it in herself. Her tears hit the bloodstained snow. She turned, her feet numb.

  


Rey left Starkiller Base and did not sleep. She did not know what would happen if she did sleep.

  


He was fire, and she was ice. Rey fell asleep twenty hours later, her hands shaking and her breath cold.

  


He was there, his hand brushing across her waist and his lips ghosting her neck. "You are beautiful," he told her.

  


Rey squeezed her eyes shut and pushed Ben away. "Do not touch me right now."

  


Ben stayed silent, his bare chest dancing in the moon. He was pristine, like an ancient prince.

  


Rey began to cry, "you have killed so many. You tried to torture me."

  


"You promised," Ben said, "that you wouldn't be appalled."

  


Tears fell from Rey's eyes, her shaking hands rubbing them away with ruddy streaks. She couldn't look at him. She couldn't breathe.

  


She felt like a naive child again. Nothing was ever kind to her.

  


"Lay with me," he asked, "just for one last night. After that, I'll try my damndest to leave you alone."

  


Rey decided that she liked it better when she didn't know Ben - he was her best friend and biggest crush. She liked it better when Kylo Ren was a faceless monster with no soul and no smile.

  


Rey lay with him, her shuddering sobs wetting his chest. Ben pet her hair.

  


She dreamt of him, but was never with him.

  


The planet with lichen covered bricks and forgotten pathways was a longer flight than she anticipated. Rey finally met the cloaked man. He had a funny beard.

  


Ben pulsed underneath her skin, their mental link too strong to be ignored. Rey felt his guilt and remorse, but felt none of her own.

  


He sometimes visited her in her meditation. Rey had once shooed him away, but today she let Ben sit with her.

  


"I am leaving today," she told him.

  


"Five years," he said, his long hair flitting in the wind.

  


"Four and a quarter," she corrected. Although still sharp, Rey's jawline was no longer depraved of food but depraved of innocence.

  


"Will I ever meet you again?" His face was scarred, mauled in half by a mark Rey had left.

  


"On the field of justice," she foretold.

  


He leant back, "jedi," he scoffed.

  


They next met on a warm planet, the sky orange and pink and the water a murky brown.

  


Rey clung to him, the ground dissolving beneath the pair's feet. His hand swallowed her waist and Rey hated how nostalgic it felt.

  


When they awoke, battered bones and bruised egos proved to be the least of their problems: a large subterranean forest stretched out before Rey. The gap through which they fell was above them, shining pink in the distance.

  


Rey's venomous spite proved to run out of fuel after a mere two days, and Ben gave her a fruit.

  


"Is it edible?" She asked.

  


"I would never poison you," he replied, biting into his own fruit.

  


The forest was purple and glowing, with occasional songs spun out from the creatures that scurried within it. Rey wanted to scurry away.

  


Her lightsaber had a long central hilt, longer than customary. Master Luke helped her piece it together, helping with the forging of both blades. Parts of the hilt were from her staff. It was green.

  


It was cold. The forest stretched for weeks, and Rey finally slept next to the fire. Ben slept on the other side, his dark robes keeping him warmer than Rey's Jedi garb.

  


Jakku filled her dreams. Once again, Rey dreamt of an ocean covered version of Jakku, with Star Destroyers scraping the sky, surrounded with mountains of muddy scraps.

  


She awoke to Ben crying softly, his back shaking and his face turned away from the fire. Rey went back to sleep.

  


"You don't have to do this," Rey said.

  


"Do what?"

  


"Sith," she said simply.

  


He did not answer, rising from the fire. Orange dusk floated down into his hair, and she watched it blossom and dance.

  


"I can't trust you," Rey said, "but I won't kill you like this." Nonetheless, she had kept her hand on her saber for the entirety of their time below the surface.

  


"I know."

  


She hated the shivers his voice gave her.

  


He was crying again. Rey lay and watch him. The blue of midnight contrasted with the embers of the fire.

  


Ben saw her watching, her eyes dancing with the fire. "Do not think me weak," he asked.

  


"Only the strongest can openly cry," she hugged her waist.

  


"Are you cold?" He asked.

  


"No," she lied.

  


Ben laughed, "Rey, I have known you for over a decade. I can tell when you are lying."

  


"You don't know me," she decided.

  


Ben stayed quiet. He shed his outer coat, half handing it to Rey before folding it and setting it down.

  


"I hate myself," he finally said. Rey looked up. The purple forest was glowing behind him. Little scavenging birds flew in the distance.

  


"Nothing I ever do is right," he continued. "I tried to impress my parents by working with planes like my father; I burnt down our home on New Alderaan. I tried to learn the ways of the force to impress Master Luke; I could barely become a padawan. I tried to be dark for Snoke; there is too much light in me for his liking. I tried to be your friend - the mystery figure in my dreams was a constant, she always comforted me and listened to me. When I met you, you ran."

  


Rey craned her neck to look up.

  


"You promised," he choked out, "you promised to me that you wouldn't be appalled. You promised - it was the one thing I looked forward to: braiding your hair, listening to your scavenging stories. In a life of disappointment and anger you were the one good point. You promised!"

  


Rey's hand was ghosting over the hilt of her blade. "Guilting me into feeling sorry for you won't change anything. You killed your father. You killed an entire generation of Jedi. You let multiple planets be destroyed." Rey knew this tactic well. Orphans on Jakku would cry until some kind soul helped them, and then the orphans would steal from the kindred and leave them in the sands. Rey was prepared.

  


"You promised," Ben repeated. He hit his head multiple times, his brow contorted.

  


"Thinking of the promises I made before I knew you won't do anything," Rey said, watching the fire. "If you are desperate for redemption, show me, do not tell me. A person can change, but living in the past inhibits moving forward. The motive never, never justifies murder."

  


"How," he sobbed, "how can I redeem myself?"

  


"Come to the light." Rey watched a bird take flight, its glowing wings glistening.

  


Ben was silent, "I can't."

  


"You've failed your redemption, then."

  


Rey awoke to hands curled around her waist, holding her warm and tight. She howled, kicking, "get off, get off!"

  


Ben started, his hands leaving little bruises on her stomach. Rey's lightsaber flashed, illuminating her bared teeth. The purple forest hooted with comedy.

  


Ben jumped to his feet, reaching for his own saber.

  


She lunged at him, anger burning with each word, "don't ever touch me without my permission!"

  


Ben met her, the purple of their fight joining the light of the nocturnal forest.

  


"You have no right to touch me!" She snarled, guttural. "You lost that right five years ago, when you betrayed me!"

  


"Four and a quarter," he reminded her.

  


She screamed, her voice raw. Birds took off, frightened. "How dare you speak to me! You have had the nerve to attempt to reconcile with me without even repenting for your crimes! You do not deserve to even look upon me!"

  


Rey's frustration soared. She kicked his feet out from under him and snatched his lightsaber. "Go," she said, pointing into the forest. "Only come back if you have reached an honest ultimatum. If not, I will leave you to die."

  


Ben spat a curse at her, "Jedi don't kill."

  


"I am not a Jedi," she sneered, "I am Rey, and I do what I need to survive."

  


The forest swallowed him, the jeering of the scavengers inside it devouring him whole. Rey sat. The ground was wet.

  


Poe rescued Rey after a week. Ben never came back.

  


One of the Resistance's engineers fit Rey's lightsaber to be the (detachable) head of her new quarterstaff. She liked being able to fight in three ways (with the staff, with one end of the saber ignited, and with both sides).

  


Water was a luxury, but Rey still used it sparingly. Old habits die hard.

  


Poe sometimes kissed Finn. Rey was envious - not of Finn or Poe, but rather of contact. Despite believing that she was neither Sith nor Jedi, Rey wished someone was brave enough to break the stigma of Jedi not being allowed to love. Rey was lonely. She liked to go swimming and whistle at the seaside birds.

  


Birds didn't have friends. They flew alone. Rey wanted to fly.

  


She wore his jacket. For months, it smelt of him, musky and cold. She hated herself a little more each time she wore it. She hated how she sometimes drank in how he smelled before meditation.

  


She even wore it to the sacred temple Master Luke had recommended for meditation, casting treason against her past need to cut him away from her.  
Rey visited the temple before and after battles, the breath of the sacred site cleansing and purifying. Kylo Ren stared at her in her dreams, the scars of abuse from Snoke traced with tears of anger. Rey refused to feel sorry for him. She was strong.

  


The battles raged, oceans of Star Destroyers clashing with tides of X-Wings. Coruscant gleamed in the sky, a beacon reminding Rey that defeating Kylo Ren and Snoke was only the beginning of rebuilding the galaxy. General Organa often whisked off to the capital, sometimes bringing Rey along (although not without silk robes and tall boots).

  


“I saw your son,” an ambassador told General Organa, “the rumors are that he is plotting to kill Supreme Leader Snoke.”

  


General Organa did the best she possibly could to extinguish the glimmer of hope that the ambassador had lit, but it burnt through every notion she tried to cover it with.

  


Rey pretended not to notice when the General cried herself to sleep.

  


Finn shot General Hux in the heart. Kylo Ren disappeared.

  


Rey was not alone. She felt him, the ghost of what once was pulsating through her very soul. Glances across the battlefield and harsh Force battles had spanned the years between them.

  


"It's been eleven years," he said, covered in shadow.

  


"This is a sacred place. I came to pray," she responded.

  


"Eleven years since the first dream," he finished. "Do you remember it?"

  


She hated that she did. "I will not fight you here."

  


"All we did was lay next to each other, the force pulsing between us," he said. Rey felt sick.

  


The ancient murals started down at her. Rey refused to turn around. Several metal objects landed on the floor. The murals dared her to look.

  


"My jacket suits you."

  


She inwardly cursed, drawing the sides to one another. It was too big, impractical for battle. Rey had to cuff the sleeves several times and it still swallowed her.

  


"Would you like it back?"

  


"No," she heard him sit down, "ironically, I came here to pray as well."

  


Rey sneered, "what, you don't pray to his holiness, Master Snoke?"

  


Ben choked, "no."

  


Rey started at the strangled voice.

  


"I came here to ask for forgiveness before I die," he murmured, tears hitting the sides of his mouth. Rey whipped around, his cloak surrounding her.

  


Before her knelt Kylo Ren, his throat bared in sacrifice and his shaking hands holding his lightsaber to Rey. "Kill me," he said.

  


Rey looked at him. Pitiful.

  


"Kill me," he repeated.

  


"No," she said. This was exactly what he did with Han Solo. Rey could not trust him.

  


"Kill me," he sobbed.

  


Rey stepped forward and took the lightsaber, igniting it. Ben shuddered, tensing his face in anticipation. Rey swung, turning the blade off and tossing it out a temple window.

  


She knelt and embraced him. The tense worry that she would be killed like Han Solo haunted her, but Rey also remembered the nights she spent on Jakku laughing with him.

  


He cried freely, melting into her. She held his head and kissed his hair, letting Ben cry. The murals sneered at her. Rey did not care. His hands swallowed her waist. Rey loved how it felt.

  


The first weeks were tense. Rey enjoyed bruising him while sparring, each mark in the name of a fallen comrade. The Jedi in Rey told her to stop berating him, but the years of broken trust and the blood soiled faces of allies said differently.

  


Ben sat and took the abuse, each bruise from Rey a reminder of all that he had done. The bruises, however, would fade, while his wrongdoings would not.

  


Her facade began to crumble. FN-2187 and Dameron stood to the side and watch the pair ‘spar,’ jeering at Ben and hooting when Rey landed a vicious jab. FN-2187 and Dameron’s crowd grew, a Togruta woman and a dark skinned human girl were the first to add to Ben and Rey’s audience, followed by an ensemble of X-Wing pilots.

  


After a month of beatings and ridicule, Rey sat next to him, handing him a cup of a thick purple liquid. “I pulled my calf,” she explained.

  


Dameron and his audience sat in silence, lounging around in the shade but still watching with trained eyes.

  


The dark skinned human girl was the first to come over. “Marlo,” she shook Ben’s hand. She had a hooked nose and big eyes, with long black hair that tumbled over her shoulders. Rey offered her a cup.

  


The sparring ended, and Rey’s touches lingered on his arms for too long to be an accident. Rey caught him staring at her lips more than once, and she consulted Dondo and Jessika on how to make her lips suitable for kissing. Dondo laughed at her.

  


His room was the same, despite being on D’Qar. General Organa must have had a hand in it, as it was the same as she remembered. Ben was not permitted to be alone. The soldier stationed outside his room eyed Rey carefully every time she visited.

  


Ben was still asleep. He was not allowed near a lightsaber; Rey was unarmed.

  


She tapped his shoulder. Foggy, dark eyes met her. "May I lay with you?" Rey asked.

  


Ben nodded, propping himself up on his mountain of pillows. His chest had more scars than last time she saw it. They had both grown. Rey shed her clothes, leaving herself in cotton shorts and a breast wrap.

  


His sheets were somehow as coarse as they used to be, and his large hand encompassing her shoulder was warm. Outside his window sprawled the green ocean. Rey loved it. Ben was warm.

  


Days turned into weeks. It was as if she was dreaming again. He often braided her hair into loops that Rey now recognized as the hairstyles of General Organa. She enjoyed pinning his up into fine designs. He sometimes left her unintentional bruises as the result of a nightmare. Rey kissed his hands, listening to his apology but not permitting violence. Rey slept on the floor on nights that were especially bad.

  


"Rey," General Organa called her over, "may I give your bunk to a new recruit?"

  


Rey started, "I don't understand."

  


"You spend all of your leisure time in Ben's quarters," the General explained, "it's just wasteful to give you your own quarters at this point."  
Pink, Rey nodded. "I'll have my things out by high tide."

  


Ben and his escort helped Rey move her things into Ben's room. Rey's hands shook the whole time.

  


The first night they spent (officially) together was awkward. Rey didn't know what to do with her hands and was far too interested in his window.

  


"It's weird, isn't it?" Ben sat down next to her.

  


Rey hummed. Although it felt like futile paranoia, her guard was never completely lowered. Images of Han plagued her, accompanied by the broken worlds Kylo Ren had caused.

  


"My mother knows about us," he told her, his hands drawing on her bare back. The holoprogramme droned on, a viciously flamboyant Twi'lek reporting on the hottest New Republic gossip. "I told her about the dreams when I was younger."

  


She flipped over, her chest on full display. Ben turned red, struggling to only meet Rey's eyes. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"

  


Ben turned ever ruddier. "Only once."

  


"Did you do anything more than kiss?" Rey asked. She was fearless, Ben decided.

  


"No," he averted his gaze completely, suddenly entranced with the wall.

  


"Why not?" Rey sat up, trying to obstruct Ben's vision.

  


"It's petty." He wrapped around her, drawing her chest to his.

  


Rey hummed, a ghost of a grin blessing her face. "I won't belittle you."

  


"I thought that," Ben was redder than Jakku's sun, "it would be nice to," he swallowed. Rey nodded, egging him on. "Have my first time with you?" His voice broke.

  


Rey tackled him back onto the mountain of pillows and kissed him. He didn't have fangs. Ben's lips were very big. He didn't know what he was doing, but his hands graced her waist. Rey kissed him harder.

  


His lips were swollen and he was panting for breath. Rey kissed down his neck before back up, kissing behind his ear. Ben's pulse ticked under her lips. She bit and he cried out in surprise.

  


Rey did nothing more than kiss him. When she was satisfied, she laid down next to him, smiling. "Better than your first?"

  


Ben sighed, his hands pulling Rey close. "Yes."

  


Going off planet for senate business was exhausting. Rey didn’t like the dresses General Organa put her in, but she enjoyed the gold of the General’s voice ringing out to the senate hall.

  


D’Qar cried out to her. Rey missed the green and blue of the planet, and the harsh woolen sheets of her bed. She wanted to fly.

  


Ben picked her up and spun her around, kissing her cheek. He was still nervous about touching her. She didn't blame him.

  


Twenty five Jakku years ago, Rey was born. General Organa gave her a nice new belt and made her a nice pastry. Finn sang her a song (with BB-8 accompanying him), and Poe made her an X-Wing mobile. She hung it in her locker.

  


For her birthday, Ben had apparently ditched his escort. No soldier was outside their quarters, and Rey slipped inside cautiously. Her bed was empty.

  


Each week felt like an eternity. General Organa refused to disclose Ben's location and Rey couldn't find him in the Force.

  


Rey refused to let herself cry. Her eyes burnt, and she rubbed at them. She knew this would happen.

  


The fish jeered at her. They taunted with Ben's true agenda, teasing Rey with secrets of how dark he really was. Rey screamed and threw rocks at the fish until they swam away.

  


The forest swallowed her up. She lived in the green, exploring the flora and fauna, waiting for her comm to go off with news. She didn't know which she would be more surprised at: Ben's return or Ben's betrayal.

  


Rodents pecked at her knees at she slept. She dreamt of a sandy world, not Jakku, but somewhere else. The twin suns whispered to her.

  


The rivers stretched for months. Rey carved herself a canoe out of a fallen tree. It whispered its thanks.

  


Ruddy again, Rey switched the comm on once a day, before turning it off. They'd get her if anything happened.

  


Sleeping in the canoe was pleasant. Tied to a tree, the boat barely bobbed in the current. Rey slept under his jacket.

  


Rain was new and enjoyable, until the canoe became so waterlogged it nearly sank. Rey did not trust the rain.

  
Her comm buzzed. "Rey," it called, "Rey."  


She woke.

  


"He's back." The comm said, "message us your coordinates so we may collect you."

  


Rey followed instructions.

  


Her bed was still empty. She didn't know what to do with her hands. She missed him. She half hated that she missed him.

  


The hate was buried deep within the red of her soul. Rey knew it as a fire, constantly flaming and devouring. It did not know if it was a hatred at Ben or a hated at Rey. Rey didn't know either.

  


She put on a nice, semi sheer slip. It was more feminine than Rey had even been. The slip went back in the closet.

  


Dusk ebbed over the horizon. Rey refused to slumber.

  


A gentle shaking woke her. Ben hovered over her, "my love, you're taking up most of the bed."

  


"Don't call me that," Rey attacked him, her nails digging into his spine as she kissed him.

  


"My love," smiled Ben, "I missed you."

  


A growl crawled from Rey's throat. She violently flipped them over, her teeth bared. Half propped up on his throne of pillows, Ben's fingers left hand shaped bruises on Rey's rear. She grinned, devouring his mouth. The pair kissed and the birds outside whistled in approval.

  


Rey hummed, laying atop Ben. His hand brushed through her loose hair, the other holding her close.

  


"I love you," he told her.

  


Rey's mouth did not move.

  


Luke Skywalker sat at the mess table across from Rey. She could sense Ben watching her like a hawk. "He came to me," Luke's beard was longer than ever, "not only to ask for help, but to ask for forgiveness."

  


"I went on your birthday," Ben told her, their game of chess between them, "because part of your gift was me becoming deserving of you."

  


A golden laugh tumbled from Rey's mouth, "and what of the other part?"

  


"Two other parts," Ben started, "what had been salvaged from your AT-AT," he swallowed, turning red.

  


"And?" Rey almost felt cruel, making him say it.

  


"Sex," he whispered. Ben was completely red.

  


Rey threw back her head and laughed.

  


The moons rose slowly, dancing among the rings. Ben kissed down Rey's neck, his teeth dancing over her skin. He grazed her collarbone, his hands right under her breasts. "May I?"

  


"Be my guest," Rey watched the moons as her bustier slipped off.

  


Halted, Ben looked up at her. "I don't know what to do." Rey was glad for his honesty.

  


His hands were much bigger than hers. She guided his palms onto her breasts, kissing the shuddering breaths right out of Ben's mouth. He began to shakily knead them. Rey arched into him, feeling lewd and excited.

  


The pair fell asleep after their prurient exploration, Rey curled up into his side. Ben dreamt of her.

  


It was a bad night. Ben thrashed in their bed, his whole body convulsing. Rey watched dawn kiss the night sky.

  


The escort finally disappeared. Relishing in his success, Ben took Rey swimming. Rey caught several fish. Her staff was out of sight, up the shore. She hated that she didn't completely trust him.

  


He hated it too.

  


Rey's things from her AT-AT felt like dust in her hands. Her dolls looked like they were going to crumble. She moved her X-Wing helmet into her locker, under the mobile.

  


Tears soaked the floor. Rey stared at the metal panel, the marks on it stretching on for eternity. Ben held her hand.

  


The marks towered above her. She hated that she felt bad for not continuing them. Rey sat and stared.

  


The food Ben brought her was cold. It was food. Rey felt the phantom grit of Jakku's wastelands between her fingers.

  


Marlo gave Rey kindness in exchange for letting Marlo fiddle with her lightsaber. Marlo accidentally gave herself a haircut. Finn helped Marlo even it out.

  


She was in the tail end of her teens, and Rey didn't miss the days that Marlo wore her hair in three little buns. It made her smile.

  


Sometimes Rey wondered where her parents were. She hoped they were doing well.

  


The desert planet flooded her dreams. Rey could barely concentrate on anything but. Even the serenity of the green outside and the goosebumps of Ben’s touch did little to take her mind from thoughts of the two suns.

  


“I don’t feel comfortable with you two leaving,” General Organa confessed. “We don’t have any information on Snoke, and you are the people he is looking for most.”

  


Ben squeezed Rey’s hand in apology.

  


“It’s not that I don’t think you can resist him,” the General said, “it’s what he may do when you deny him.”

  


Poe sang Rey lullabies of the stars. His words weaved a time before the First Order, before the Empire. She wished to see it. Poe’s songs gave her wings and she flew.

  


Ben caught her in the hangar. Rey accidentally knocked over a wrench in surprise. “Are you leaving despite the General’s wishes?”

  


“Yes,” Rey breathed.

  


“Alone?” Ben asked.

  


“Only if you don’t wish to come with me.”

  


Rey knew not where she was going. She knew that the Force would guide her.

  


“The outer rim?” Ben asked, sprawled out on the makeshift bed the pair had fashioned. The cots in the shuttle were too small for two, and they were dreadfully stiff. Ben stacked a grand throne out of them and everything else plush in the ship.

  


“Yes,” Rey sat with her knees pulled up to her chest. “It’s a desert planet.”

  


“Jakku?”

  


Rey rolled her eyes, “I think I could recognize Jakku if I dreamt of it.” She paused, “I’ve never been there.”

  


Ben hummed, running his fingers through his hair. Finn helped him trim it.

  


“It’s a binary system,” Rey shared, her eyes on the scanner. “The suns are pink. The sky is pink too.” Her ration was still warm, “the architecture is very primal.”

  


“The force will guide us,” Ben was only half joking.

  


Rey shed her outer layer, “five hours until we reach the outer rim at this speed.” She stepped over to him.

  


Ben patted the spot next to him, “if you fall asleep, I’ll wake you up.”

  


“What if you fall asleep too?”

  


Ben shrugged. She sit next to him, his hand coming to cradle her waist. Hyperspace pulsed outside the cockpit. “You look pretty in blue,” she told him.

  


“You look pretty all the time,” Ben said.

  


“I know where we’re going,” Ben shook Rey awake.

  


“Do share,” she mumbled.

  


“Tatooine.”

  


The word was like a lifetime Rey never knew. Prospective engineers hid from the nasty winds and the canyons proved to be treacherous beyond what Rey could have ever imagined. Young children laughed and jeered, and a band played in a bar. She felt the Empire’s force, and she felt the lingering soul of Sith long dead. The twin suns danced, and the winds scorched every soul. Dreams were whisked away by the sand, and moisture was farmed like crop. Rey sighed.

  


“Tatooine,” she repeated.

  


“It’s silly,” he said, “this whole ordeal started with Tatooine, and now we’re coming back.”

  


“What ordeal?” Rey asked.  


“My grandfather,” Ben said slowly, “he was born on Tatooine. My uncle was raised there. My namesake hid there after my grandfather carried out the Emperor’s will.”

  


Rey nodded.

  


“It’s where my father met my uncle,” he concluded. “Which comes first, the ending or the beginning?”

  


“The beginning,” Rey answered.

  


“If it’s a beginning, something must have ended before it.” He looked out into hyperspace. “It’s a cycle. We like to call it the Force.”

  


“Aren’t you wise,” Rey brushed her fingers through his hair.

  


“At least I don’t recite Jedi proverbs in my sleep,” Ben laughed. Rey pushed him.

  


“I feel it,” Rey said, taking the shuttle out of hyperspace.

  


“Feel what?” Ben looked up.

  


“Tatooine,” Rey shook her head, “it’s calling out to me.”

  


Their ship landed a little ways out of Mos Eisley. Rey set up little beads that projected a field around it; Ben watched in awe of her technical prowess.

  


“What are they for?” He asked.

  


“Scavengers,” Rey disclosed.

  


Ben laughed, “you think they’ll try to take our ship?”

  


“I know the desert better than you,” Rey warned. Ben fell quiet. “Scavengers do what they need to do for their survival. A ship like ours, still in flying shape, is worth much more than some see in their entire life.”

  


The sand found its way into Rey’s boots. It felt familiar, and the muslin wrap that Rey adorned herself in was a relic from Jakku - from one desert to the next. She handed Ben a head scarf of his own, and he fumbled. She tied it for him.

  


The walk to Mos Eisley was silent. Rey hated how happy she was to step through the dunes, her goggles giving her prime view of the horizon.

  


She whipped around, focused on a cloud that she saw out of the corner of her eye. “Run,” she told Ben.

  


They ran. Jakku didn’t really have winds, so sandstorms were few, far between, and weak. The shifting dunes were due to unpredictable foundations, not vicious winds.

  


“A sandstorm?” Ben shouted.

  


“Yes,” Rey answered, her staff in hand.

  


“What do you normally do for sandstorms?” Ben asked.

  


“You go inside!” Rey cried, trying to get her point across.

  


“There’s nowhere to go!”

  


Rey pointed at Mos Eisley Spaceport furiously, before taking off running. He could catch up, she knew he could. Rey was not interested in suffocating right now.

  


The soles of her shoes were not the large plates that helped herders run on Jakku; they were Resistance trainers, and the thin soles were frustratingly sloppy on the soft sand. The ground moved faster beneath her, and Rey could picture herself spreading wings and taking off.

  


“Come on!” Rey shouted.

  


Mos Eisley crept into Rey’s foreground, and she turned a harsh corner, skidding on the sandstone. Her muslin adornments flew around her. The townsfolk seemed to be congregating around a certain building. Rey raced towards it.

  


Muslin covered faces and goggles covered eyes. Tall and short, yellow and red, the crowd engulfed Rey. She felt at home in the diverse population. Ben rounded the corner behind the crowd, and Rey jumped, waving at him.

  


“Ben!” She cried, drawing the looks of a group of Aqualish.

  


He panted over to her, the sand following him into the city. Rey grabbed his lapel and dragged him along.

  


The panic that the storm had inflicted on the city was painfully obvious. Sand speeders buzzed away, and flocks of Jawa dove into cover. Rey pushed through the crowd. A Chadra’Fan knocked into her, and Rey fell backwards onto Ben. “Damn rat,” she said.

  


The building everyone had been so eager to go to was none other than a bar. The place was hopping, a Twi’lek duo singing jazz-esque songs on the stage.

  


“This place is a dive,” Ben commented.

  


“If you’d rather suffocate on sand, be my guest.” Rey told him, stepping cautiously to the bar.

  


The barkeep looked up at her, her small eyes deep and trusting.

  


“I’ll have a Cometduster,” said Rey. “Ben, what do you want?”

  


Ben stumbled over, “what do you recommend?”

  


“Depends,” the barkeep’s voice was old and wheezing. “Can you handle strong drinks?”

  


“Yes,” Ben lied. Rey stifled a laugh. The barkeep winked at her.

  


“I’d say a Tatooine Sunset,” the barkeep tapped her webbed fingers on the bar, “it’s pretty strong.”

  


“Absolutely,” Ben’s voice cracked.

  


The pair waited for their drinks. A Cerean couple eyed them, weary. As their drinks arrived, the bartender was laughing slightly. “30 credits.”

  


“Do you accept Republic credits?” Rey asked.

  


“There is no Republic to assign the credits value anymore, my dear.”

  


Ben pulled out his wallet and paid quickly. The pair sat down. “What was she?” Ben asked.

  


Rey started. “Who?”

  


“The barkeeper!”

  


Rey shook her head, “that is an extremely rude question, Ben.”

  


“Oh,” he looked at his drink. It bubbled slightly.

  


“She was Em’liy.” Rey offered. “Did you meet other species on New Alderaan?”

  


Ben shook his head, swirling his glass. “Only humans lived on Alderaan, so only humans came to New Alderaan. I met a Togruta padawan training with Master Luke before,” he trailed off.

  


“Before,” Rey repeated, final. She sipped her drink, the liquid popping on her tongue. Ben followed suit.

  


He nearly spat out his drink, “that is foul!”

  


“Ben!” Rey laughed, “don’t say that so loudly!” She reached over and took a sip of the Tatooine Sunset.

  


The barkeep was laughing, looking over at Rey and Ben. Rey winked back.

  


“This is one of the mildest drinks I have ever tasted,” Rey told him, “there are less than two drops of alcohol in this.”

  


“Nonsense,” Ben said. He snatched her drink and took a large swig. He spat it out, spraying the next booth with it.

  


Rey shot up, darting over to the offended table. “I sincerely apologize.”

  


One of their party members grumbled, but sat down.

  


“This is his first time drinking, and it was stronger than he was expecting. I am so very sorry,” she explained.

  


Ben was on his knees, mopping up the mess with his headscarf.

  


“Hey!” Rey skid over to him, “this is plant based fabric! If you ruin it, you get me a new one!”

  


They left the bar later, Ben red-faced and bashful. Rey supported him with her arm. The inn that was kind enough to take them had a gregarious owner who hiccuped giggles in Tusken and wished them honeymoon blessings.

  


Ben kept trying to kiss Rey and she kept pushing him off of her. The sand outside was different from Jakku’s. It was red and ruddy, and the grains were harsher, almost as if the planet was still eroding.

  


“I love you,” Ben warbled from the bed.

  


“I know,” Rey said, her attention solely on the scenery outside.

  


“Why don’t you ever say it back?” He asked.

  


“I’m not ready to.”

  


Their wandering search began at the first sunrise, the second dawn tailing behind the redder sun. A rented sandspeeder fit into Rey’s hands, and Ben hugged her waist. She knew not where she was going, nor what she would find.

  


“Are we heading to Mos Espa?” Ben’s voice was velvet on her ear.

  


“I don’t know.”

  


The Force took Rey’s hand and guided her through the desert. Moisture farms danced past her and the shadows of Tusken cities once fantastic clambered over the sandspeeder. Skeletons of olden beasts were the wreckage of Tatooine, the organic-ness of it seeming ironic, as Jakku’s scavenging was entirely mechanical. Jawa droid carriers glistened in the noon suns, and giant creatures slithered under the sand, where it was cool. Tatooine was a newly desert planet, Rey could tell. Canyons still sank deep and mountains rose proudly. Jakku’s geology had all but eroded completely.

  


Rey stopped before a demure sandstone home, the door knocked down and the insides long coated with sand. The dust was inches thick. Rey unwrapped her face.

  


Trailing behind her, Ben knocked over a stack of boxes near the entrance. “The Force is strong here,” Ben said.

  


“These use it to keep yourself from running into every last thing,” Rey said. Ben grabbed her waist, peppering her neck with kisses.

  


“There’s no need to be so rude,” he laughed.

  


“I only tell it as it is,” Rey looked over the cottage, the adobe walls halfway dissolved.

  


The home was low and unused. Scavengers had long since picked it over, but something still called to her.

  


“Ben,” she said.

  


He turned, “what?”

  


Rey shushed him, “no, I’m listening to the Force.”

  


The only word the Force was giving her was ‘Ben,’ chanting it over and over. “Do you know anyone else named Ben?”

  


He shook his head, “only my namesake.”

  


“Was this his house?” Rey asked.

  


“I never met him,” Ben explained. “My grandfather killed him a few years before I was born.”

  


“Your grandfather?”

  


“Darth Vader,” Ben said, “he’s pretty famous.”,/p>  


“Oh, that grandfather.” Rey rolled her eyes. “I could’ve sworn you were talking about Jabba the Hutt.”

  


Ben started, “did Han tell you about him?”

  


Rey fell quiet, “Chewie did.”

  


Shame drowned Ben in blue. Rey snatched some stray parts from under the bed and the pair made their way back to Mos Eisley.

  


“I regret it almost every day,” Ben whispered in her ear, the sand flying past the pair almost muffling his confession.

  


“I know,” Rey said. “You’re so emotional, I can feel everything flow through you with the Force.”

  


“It’s why I’d make a ruddy Jedi,” Ben laughed. Rey did not.

  


His hands skated down her spine, thrumming along the vertebrae. The days on Tatooine spanned into a week. General Organa had called just to make sure that they were alright, and had dispatched some pilots to stay close in case the duo needed backup.

  


Ben’s kisses skirted Rey’s collarbone. “You know,” he whispered, giving Rey chills, “I still haven’t finished your birthday gift yet.”

  


Rey swallowed, “I know.”

  


Ben looked up at her, his full eyelashes casting a false sense of demurity over the whole situation. “May I?” His hands became harsher, pleasantly digging into Rey’s sides.

  


“You may kiss me,” Rey smiled.

  


Ben kissed her. He was so much bigger than her, and despite the decade between them, it still felt like Rey’s first kiss. His lips were soft, and he had the slightest bit of stubble. The long scar across his face became the fascination of Rey’s wandering fingers. It was deep and long, and she felt no remorse for putting it there.

  


He pressed into her, pinning Rey to the bed. Her hands wrung themselves in his hair, brushing it away from his face. It was the perfect length, Rey thought, just long enough to hide behind his ears. She smiled into him.

  


Ben’s hands skirted her undergarments, and she pressed her pelvis into his hand. Ben gasped a little bit, rubbing and prodding in a strong yet gentle way. Rey guided his fingers to the places she needed, and the pair pressed into each other. It was weird, it was awkward, and it was fantastic. The pair fell asleep, their steady breathing completely in sync.

  


Rey traveled to Mos Espa a few days before Ben did. She sat in the racing district and watched the engineers work, their fingers rapidly constructing beautiful things out of parts Rey had once scavenged for. Awe coloured her thoughts.

  


The beautiful horizon was vast and ever changing, but a few Tusken monuments stood the test of the harsh sands. They were gorgeous in their own way.

  


Rey arrived back to her inn with pretty rocks in her satchel. She showed them to Ben as he brushed her hair. She might love him, she thinks.

  


On the shuttle ride home, Ben takes to whispering inaudibly into Rey’s hair. She can tell that something is on his mind,

  


“My love,” Ben says. Rey’s heart jumps.

  


She hummed, fiddling with her newest tinkering endeavor.

  


“I,” he stopped, his voice shaking, “promise you won’t make fun of me.”

  


“I promise,” Rey didn’t even look up.

  


“No,” Ben said, “I want your honest response. Look at me.”

  


She raised an eyebrow and looked at him.

  


“I,” he swallowed, “I want to.” He stopped.

  


Rey nodded.

  


“To,” his hands were shaking, Rey could tell. “To make a new lightsaber.”

  


The smile that grew on Rey’s face was slow but strong, and soon she was crying in joy. Ben shot forward, patting her head. “No,” he said, “my love, why are you crying?”

  


“Do you want to be a Jedi?” She asked.

  


Ben faltered, his hand falling to cradle Rey’s neck. “No,” he admitted, “I want to be something in between.”

  


Rey wept harder, her tears soaking the shoulder of Ben’s tunic. “Me too,” she said, “I don’t like hiding my emotions like Luke says I should.”

  


“Something like,” Ben’s mouth was dry, “where you use equal parts of the light and the dark? I don’t know. I don’t know if mother -”

  


Rey fell silent at his slip. Ben’s eyes were wide. “General, excuse me, will allow me to go.”

  


“What if Luke gives us his blessing?”

  


Ben shrugged, “I don’t know.”

  


Ben groaned, flipping over. Rey’s hands wrapped around his midsection. “I regret telling you,” he lied, a grin on his lips.

  


“I’m just,” Rey laughed, “so excited. And happy. So,” she said, “what do you want? A natural crystal or a synthetic one?”

  


“I don’t know,” Ben said, “Snoke only let us use synthetic, and we both know how my attempt at that worked. I only ever used training sabers with Luke.”

  


“Mine is synthetic,” Rey shared, “I forged it myself. It took four days of meditation, and I almost starved.”

  


Ben whipped around, “why did it take so long?”

  


Rey laughed, “my saber is double ended, silly.”

  


Ben pulled Rey into his side, “do you think mine should be single ended?”

  


“Yes,” Rey said, “I think you’d be best with something light, almost like a rapier.”

  


“Something light!” Ben scoffed, “I’m a hundred kilo of pure muscle.”

  


“Keep telling yourself that,” Rey tapped along his chest. “I’m so excited.”

  


“So am I.”

  


“Spit it out,” Luke didn’t even look up from his food, “I can feel you lurking.

  


Ben stuttered. Rey squeezed his hand tightly.

  


“I,” he swallowed, “I would like to make a new lightsaber.”

  


Luke started. Rey grasped Ben’s hand tighter.

  


“I know,” Ben began reciting the speech he and Rey had deliberated over for hours, “you don’t trust me with a weapon. I think I’ve changed, and although I’m not cut out to be a Jedi, we - I, sorry - was thinking that the best way to really start anew was to-”

  


Luke cut him off, standing and embracing Ben. “I’m so proud of you.”

  


“For what?” Ben sounded strangled.

  


“For accepting your mistakes and moving forward,” Luke told him, his blessings clear.

  


Ben began to cry. Rey remembered when he cried after being told that she was proud of him. She wondered if Leia and Han ever told him that they were proud of him.

  


“Thank you,” he sobbed, clutching Luke close.

  


Finn walked into the mess hall, raising his eyebrows. Rey shooed him out.

  


“Do you want to be a Jedi?” Luke asked.

  


“Rey asked the same question,” Ben admitted, “no. Something in between, using both sides of the Force in complete balance.”

  


“Using your emotions, but not letting them control you,” Rey offered. Luke turned to her, running a haggard hand down his jaw.

  


“You know it’s not up to me,” he said, “you need to ask the General. Would you want a synthetic or natural blade?”

  


Ben shook his head, “we haven’t decided yet.”

  


“We?” Laughter shook in Luke’s eyes, darting between Rey and Ben. Rey beamed.

  


“I think he would be great with a natural crystal,” Rey offered, “all that natural energy would be good, right?”

  


“Yes,” Luke agreed, sitting back down, “but both you and I have synthetic crystals. I’m not sure I’m really well versed in how to forge with natural crystals.” Ben and Rey followed, sitting down.

  


“What kind of blade do you want?” Luke asked.

  


Ben laughed, “goodness, both of you are equally annoying. Rey quizzed me nonstop after I told her.”

  


“I think that something light would really suit his fighting style,” Rey told Luke, “Something with a covered hilt, maybe? And no exhaust pipes this time!”  
Ben laughed, “I feel giddy.”

  


“It’s not every day that this happens,” Luke said. “What made you decide?”

  


“We were on Tatooine,” Ben explained, shaky, “and I just felt the power of the Force and knew it was time.”

  


“Tatooine?” Luke asked, “where on Tatooine?”

  


“We stayed in Mos Eisley for about a week and a half,” Rey said, “then we went to Mos Espa.”

  


“Mos Eisley?” Luke laughed, running a hand down his jaw. He laughed loosely, “ironic.”

  


Rey cocked her head, half looking at Ben.

  


“It all started there, and you two wound up there again,” Luke sighed, “I’m from outside of Mos Eisley, you know.”

  


Ben nodded, “I told Rey the same thing.”

  


“I forged my lightsaber there,” Luke disclosed, “in a special furnace inside Old Ben Kenobi’s house. Your namesake, Ben.” Luke took a drink, “did you go by his hut?”

  


Rey looked at Ben. “Did we?”

  


“Probably,” Luke shrugged, “the Force is odd like that.” He turned to his plate and finished his meal.

  


General Organa’s knuckles were white. Her body shook in her long senate robes, and she fact that she was artfully swallowed in the fabric did little to aid the fact that she was scared.

  


She did not want to be scared. General Organa wanted to radiate power and make her adversaries crumble. And yet, when faced with deciding her son’s future, she felt small. Luke refused to meet her eyes.

  


“I don’t know,” Leia finally said, “I don’t know. Let me think on it.”

  


Marlo was bouncing off the walls in the waiting room near the primary hangar. Her new haircut framed her face, and her dark skin glowed. She had a strong, curved nose and a gap in her teeth. Marlo’s fellow pilots all found her charming, and Rey had watched Marlo pour over love letters, deeply perturbed that she couldn’t respond to every single one (as many were anonymous).

  


“Rey!” She shouted, nearly tackling Rey to the ground. Ben stood and laughed. Finn choked on his drink, snorting.

  


“You missed us!” Rey said, smiling.

  


“Yes!” Marlo nodded, the arms of her orange jumpsuit tied at her waist. “How was your journey?”

  


“We only went to Tatooine,” Rey confessed.

  


“She was so worried about the two of you,” Dondo laughed, her lekku bouncing with each chuckle.

  


Finn nodded in agreement, “Marlo would not shut up. She followed Poe into a meeting and learnt where you two were, and tried to go herself.”

  


Marlo turned a deep red. “Only half of that is true.”

  


Dondo wore very heavy makeup. Her eyes were outlined with a dark, dark black, and her eyelids seemed to be a darker orange than the rest of her face. It made her eyes sink into her face, but it looked nice. “Anyway,” Dondo turned her torso towards Ben, the bright orange of her jumpsuit contrasting with the burnt sunset of her skin. “How was your trip?”

  


“Hot and sandy,” Ben said, sitting down opposite of Finn and Dondo. Rey did not miss how Finn’s hands tensed when Ben sat down.

  


Dondo wiggled her forehead suggestively, “just how I like it.”

  


“Speaking of,” Ben cut away from that conversation, “how are you and Poe, Finn?”

  


“Well,” Finn answered, “he’s stressed with all that’s going on, but he’s well.”

  


“That’s good,” the conversation lulled into silence. Ben shot a look at Rey.

  


Dondo was transfixed with Marlo, her head in her hands and her long fingernails tapping onto her jaw. Marlo was occupied with checking Rey’s staff for dents and large clumps of sand, immune from Dondo’s gaze. Dondo bit a nail, and her fanged teeth brough Rey back to the Twi’lek she once kissed.

  


Ben tensed next to her. “Don’t worry,” she whispered softly, “Dondo is smitten with Marlo, anyway. And I’m more of a fan of a certain human than I am Togruta or Twi’lek.”

  


Ben’s hand found its way to Rey’s thigh. She stifled a laugh.

  


Finn told them about a shiny rock he had found, and how Poe’s friend Shae had a pet bird that she let Finn touch. Jessika bounded in, calling Poe and Dondo to the command bridge.

  


The night held silver whispers and gentle patterns drawn into Ben’s back. It was the best he’d slept in a long while.

  


“I’ve considered it,” General Organa told Rey over a cup of caf, “and I have decided to let you go with Ben to forge a new saber-”

  


Rey bounced excitedly.

  


“But I have conditions,” General Organa continued. “One, he will never be alone with the saber. This is not because I don’t trust him, but I’m worried he may hurt himself. Two, he must forge it the way he wants to. I have heard you and Luke brainstorming, and although I appreciate the sentiment, Ben can make his own saber. If it comes out crude like the other one, so be it.”

  


Rey nodded. The General continued, “three, when you return, you must start anew. Create a new Jedi academy, much smaller, and only draw from inside the Resistance’s ranks for the time being.”

  


Rey shifted, “are you sure?”

  


“Yes,” General Organa nodded, “but teach a new form of the force. Not Jedi, not Sith, but something new. The Jedi are over. My father saw to that.”

  


Rey hadn’t yet told Ben of the last condition.

  


She didn’t tell him as they packed, she didn’t tell him as Dondo and Finn helped them move cargo onto their shuttle, she didn’t tell him as he hugged his mother. Rey opened her mouth to tell him when they entered hyperspace, the blue glowing on his pale skin.

  


“Your mother wants us to,” Rey swallowed, “to start a new Jedi generation.”

  


Ben looked over at Rey, panicked, “impossible,”

  


“She wants us to be the teachers,” Rey added.

  


“No,” Ben’s voice became cold.

  


“Yes,” Rey said, “we would only draw from within the Resistance, and not teach the old ways of the Jedi.”

  


Ben averted his eyes, “no.”

  


“Yes,” Rey continued, “Luke and Leia would help us. It would be on D’Qar, with the Resistance. If anyone defected, we could...” Rey stopped. She didn’t know what she wanted to say.

  


“Kill them?” Ben suggested, bitter.

  


“No,” Rey said, “we could guide them back into the Light.”

  


Ben hugged her so tightly Rey feared that she might pop. He kissed her, his lips molding into hers. She arched into him, pushing her torso against his chest. Rey’s hands moved to his hair, grabbing it and tugging playfully. Ben shuddered, his hands engulfing Rey’s waist, gently moving down to her rear. Rey smiled into their kiss, and clambered onto Ben’s lap.

  


He banged his head whilst leaning back to the wall, and Rey broke their kiss to laugh at him. Ben responded by kneading her rear, and Rey rotated her hips a little bit onto his. Ben was nervous, she could tell. Rey was too.

  


He kissed her again, his lips swollen and rosy. Rey nipped at his lip, and he pulled her closer. His tongue slipped into Rey’s mouth; he tasted like caf. Rey could tell that Ben had no idea about what he was doing, and it was somehow charming.

  


Ben pulled away. Rey whined, leaning back in. Ben’s shirt came off, up and over his head. Rey mirrored him, leaving her in only her bustier.

  


He purred, kissing Rey again. His hands danced all over her sides. “I love you,” he said.

  


Rey smiled into his neck, muttering something incomprehensible. Ben knew better than to ask what it was.

  


Ben laid Rey on their cot, elevating her hips with cushions. He kissed down her stomach, her shaky breathing guiding him. Ben’s shaking hands pulled Rey’s undergarments down, and his hot breath made her shudder completely.

  


Ben faintly remembered the last time he and Rey had experimented like this. He reached for the little swollen nub at the top of her folds, his trembling hand tentatively testing the new waters. Ben assumed that from the way Rey completely bucked up at him that he was doing something right.

  


He leaned in, pressing a kiss to said nub. Rey sighed, attempting to grind herself into his face. Ben laughed into her, and the vibrations that came with his deep voice rumbled through Rey. She bucked again. Ben sucked and sucked, his teeth grazing Rey slightly.

  


She whined. Ben smiled again.

  


Rey made little noises as Ben explored her folds, his large nose nuzzling her. The noises shot straight to Ben’s groin, and he shifted. She tasted oddly sweet - Ben rather enjoyed it. Rey groaned - groaned! - and Ben had to stop himself from visibly quivering in response. Curse her and everything she did to him.

  


Rey’s fingers wrapped themselves into Ben’s long hair, tugging him farther into her. Ben complied, sloppily attempting to stick his tongue into Rey’s hole. She gasped, bucking back up into him. “Ben,” she laughed, “try putting a finger in, and licking the spot at the top.”

  


Ben flushed. He had thought that he was doing just fine.

  


Ben’s blush brought another wave of heat to Rey’s groin, and she shuddered, whining. He bit at her clit, and Rey responded by whacking his head with her hand. “Treat it with respect,” she said, “it’s very, very sensitive.”

  


Ben heeded her warning, licking the nub softly while dancing his long forefinger around her folds, attempting to do something akin to teasing her.

  


“Ben,” she whined, “if you want to toy with me, stop being so clumsy.”

  


He turned even ruddier, and slid his finger in.

  


Both Rey and Ben gasped, her pelvis jerking up to meet his hand. “Oh my,” Ben exhaled, his breath tickling her clit. Rey sighed contently.

  


They went like that for a while, Ben’s finger slowly pulsating in and out of Rey as he suckled and licked at her. Finding a rhythm was messy and gauche, and when the pair finally settled into a nice rocking motion, Rey sprawled her hands out above her head.

  


“Oh Ben,” she gasped. His twirling of his tongue sped up, listening intently to her little mewls and sighs.

  


Ben’s trousers were uncomfortably tight. Every sound and movement Rey made went straight to his crotch, and he was worried that he would come prematurely.

  


“Don’t worry,” Rey exhaled, “I don’t care. I’ll make it up to you.”

  


Ben felt like an idiot for forgetting how strong the Force flowed between them. He cursed into Rey’s folds, and she shuddered.

  


“I’m close,” she warned him.

  


Ben stuck another finger into her and gently (and respectfully) nipped at her clitoris. Rey nearly howled, her teeth drawing blood from her lip. He continued this, nudging another finger in and sucking on her most sensitive spot.

  


“Ben!” Rey cried, clenching down on Ben’s fingers. She came furiously, locking her knees around Ben’s head.

  


When she was done, he sat up, a big smile on his damp face. “That was fantastic,” he told her.

  


“Same to you,” she laid back, panting heavily.

  


Ben sat still, not wanting to say anything but desperately wanting to relieve the tension in his trousers.

  


“You could just ask,” Rey told him, still laying down, “as opposed to broadcasting everything you’re thinking.”

  


“I don’t mean to!” Ben said, gruff.

  


Rey sat up, her pearl bustier still on. She climbed over the cushions and tackled Ben down, kissing him. Her hands found their way down to the fastening of his pants, undoing it with hands that were shaking more than Rey would have liked to admit.

  


Experimenting, Rey pressed her palm down on his crotch. Ben groaned a little bit, gyrating into her. Rey laughed, tugging his trousers and undergarments.

  


Her breath caught a little bit when she felt him press against her thigh, thick and hard. The tip of him was glistening, and Rey moved her hand to spread the fluid around. Ben whined, his hands tightening on Rey’s waist. Somehow, the trembling of her hands made Rey’s touch more chaste.

  


Her first strokes were gauche and slow, testing out these new waters. Ben had never been on the receiving end before. He gasped into Rey’s neck, her taut skin somehow erotic.

  


She picked up her speed, stroking him harder and faster. The force was burning him, white hot behind his eyes.

  


Ben came with a heavy shudder. Rey laughed.

  


He swatted at her, kissing her smile while he relished in her beauty. “That was quick,” Rey smiled.

  


Ben shrugged, “sorry? You know that I’m new to this.”

  


“I know,” Rey sighed, “it’s charming. You were fantastic.”

  


The pair awoke to the alarm that Rey had set. Rey scrambled, jumping to take the ship out of hyperdrive. “We should be around Ilum’s outer rings,” she said.

  


“Ilum?” Ben asked.

  


“Yes,” Rey responded. “You wanted a natural blade, right?”

  


Ben nodded, “I thought that Ilum was dry of crystals.”

  


A laugh spilt out of Rey’s mouth, “that is what the Sith were lead to believe, yes.”

  


Ben sputtered, but followed Rey to don his proper garb. She was beautiful, he decided: her beautiful hair in its beautiful knots, and her beautiful Jedi robes upon her beautiful figure.

  


“Thank you,” Rey winked at him. “You’re not so shabby yourself.”

  


Ben kicked over a can of rations, reminding himself yet again that Rey can hear his thoughts.

  


Donned in snow gear, the pair trudged from the ship to a cavern that was nearly covered it ice. Rey kicked through the ice bank, the powdery snow breaking and the ice cracking.

  


“The Force is strong here,” Ben commented, following Rey into the cavern.

  


“I would have never guessed,” she responded. Ben whacked her arm lightly.

  


Chunks of the cavern walls were missing, gone from having Jedi excavations mine them away over millennia. Rey traced her fingers over the holes, her feet carrying her deeper into the cave.

  


Ben trotted along behind her, the Force pulsing through him.

  


After half an hour of walking and looking, Ben stopped suddenly. Rey turned around, an eyebrow raised.

  


Wordlessly, Ben moved forward, his hand splayed on the cold wall. “Here,” he said, “about four meters in.”

  


Rey sat, emptying her bag. First came the hilts, several of them from old broken sabers and some from other machinery. Second came the rations, cans of prehydrated and compressed food. Third came the blankets, and fourth came the pickaxe.

  


“I’ll be here if you need me,” Rey said, sitting down and pulling out a holobook.

  


Ben sifted through the contents of Rey’s bag, and grabbed the axe. Maybe this was why the Sith never investigated Ilum thoroughly - it was too much damn work to get a crystal.

  


“Normally,” Rey said, “they grow exposed. I’m willing to bet that your crystal is in another cavern or pocket through the stone.”

  


Ben whacked the wall, the soft stone breaking slightly.

  


It was a long day, and by what Ben assumed to be nightfall, he had made a dent in the wall. “Why,” he panted, “is this so much effort?”

  


Rey shrugged, her meditative stance intact, eyes closed. “Like I said, they normally grow exposed.”

  


Ben worked into the night, and when Rey awoke, he had broken through to a sub cavern. “Rey,” he shook her, “Rey. I got through. It’s a pocket.”

  


“Told you so,” Rey yawned.

  


Arriving back on Tatooine was a bumpy ride. Ben left the ship to go to Obi Wan’s home and use the furnace. Rey sat in Mos Eisley, gambling away with fortuitous hands.

  


Ben returned to a Rey two thousand credits richer, a smirk on her face and her pockets singing merrily.

  


“Two days,” she told him, leading him into their inn.

  


“Yes,” Ben breathed, his ears turning pink.

  


“Show me,” Rey wheeled around once the door to their suite had shut.

  


Ben knew this was coming. With shaking steps, he pushed Rey onto the bed and reached into his robes, pulling forth a small chrome handle. Rey exhaled, her breath a bit nervous.

  


“Ben,” she sighed.

  


He cut her off by igniting his saber, the purple of the blade illuminating the room. It was long, thin, and light, perfect for the flitting style of combat he favored (now that Ben was more light than dark).

  


“Oh Ben,” Rey smiled, a tear falling, “it’s perfect.”

  


Ben started, turning the blade off. “Rey, don’t - don’t cry. What’s wrong?”

  


“Nothing,” she shook her head, wiping her face and streaking black oil across it.

  


“Rey,” he kneeled before her, “tell me what’s wrong?”

  
“I,” she swallowed, “I think I love you.”  


Rey promptly tackled Ben to the ground, kissing him. He kissed her back, her lips salty.

**Author's Note:**

> SO i am not straight and have no idea how straight people work. the original plan was to have them bang and THEN end the story but i like the 'i think i love you' as an ending point and this was my first time writing smut so WHO KNOWS what it will be like. please leave your (constructive) thoughts in the comments so that i can improve my writing! thanks!


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